


whole life through

by Mr_Phich



Series: everyone needs a chance to be small [22]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Play Community, Daddy!Steve, Diapers, Disabled OC, Little!Bucky - Freeform, Neurodivergent!Bucky, New Friends, Non-Sexual Age Play, POC OC, Wetting, little!Clint, physical disabilities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 11:39:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9121885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Phich/pseuds/Mr_Phich
Summary: Bucky and Clint make a new friend.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WhatEvenAmI](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatEvenAmI/gifts).



> Guys, this fic has been in the works for so long. Sato, who you will be introduced to in this story, is everything, okay? EVERYTHING. And she only exists in her present state because WhatEvenAmI is a beautiful amazing person. So, m'dear, this fic is for you! I hope that Sato is everything you dreamed! Here's to making new friends.

_ She had blue skin, _

_ And so did he. _

_ He kept it hid _

_ And so did she. _

_ They searched for blue _

_ Their whole life through. _

_ Then passed right by– _

_ And never knew. _

 

Isaac brought it up one day at the end of an OT session. Bucky was on the other side of the room, curled up in a body sock - one of his favorite ways to end OT. Actually, it was just one of his favorites in general. 

“So, uhm,” Isaac started, unusually nervous and unsure. Steve turned to look at him more clearly, taking his gaze away from Bucky’s balled up form. “This past weekend Sato - my girlfriend - and I had a party at our place. We had a bunch of our friends over who are also in the ageplay community and it had me thinking - maybe that would be good for Bucky and Clint too? I mean, not like, a party or anything, obviously, but maybe just meeting other people who’re little? I know a lot of littles that it’s really helped. Anyway, I was thinking, if you wanted, maybe they and Sato could have a playdate sometime?”

Steve blinked, feeling a little blindsided by the suggestion. Sure, he frequented websites for the community and found Isaac through one such website, but hadn’t otherwise thought about meeting other people like them. In fact, Steve hadn’t even really considered that Isaac was like Steve in a fundamental way - that they were both drawn to be caregivers in this very specific way. He looked down at Isaac, seeing him as for the first time. Age play had been something Steve had stumbled on - a happy accident. Steve didn’t know how Isaac had found himself in the community, how he’d discovered that he wanted to be a daddy and created that relationship with Sato. Did he do it because Sato needed it, like Steve had for Clint? Or was it Isaac that needed it first?

Steve suddenly found himself feeling very curious about all of it. “Yeah,” he found himself saying, “yeah I think that would be nice.”

Isaac beamed. “Awesome! Should we set up a time? I figured we would come here, since Bucky…” he trailed off, looking over at Bucky. Steve did the same. Bucky didn’t leave the tower. Sometimes they went for walks around it, but Bucky got panicky and started to shut down if they left the area of the tower that was reserved for the Avengers. Isaac knew - they’d tried it last week, as Steve had hoped that Isaac’s expertise might help Bucky cope. 

“That sounds good,” is all that Steve said, though, because this was supposed to be a positive thing and he didn’t want to dwell on all the ways Bucky was still so limited by his fear. “When would be good for you guys?”

They quickly ironed out the details. At the end, as Isaac packed up his stuff and got ready to leave, he hesitated. Isaac once again glanced over at Bucky (who was now sitting half in the body sock, leaving his arm, torso and head out so that he could color). 

“I should let you know. Sato has cerebral palsy. She gets around using crutches and wears braces on her legs. She has some physical limitations, but you wouldn’t know it from her attitude,” Isaac said this with a fond roll of his eyes which reminded Steve painfully of Bucky, back in the days where Bucky had chased after him, desperately trying to get him to take care of himself. “Some people get kind of weird about it - I don’t necessarily think you guys would, but I won’t subject her to ableism when she’s little. She gets enough of that shit.” Isaac’s voice went sternly protective and Steve felt a surge of empathy for him. Steve knew exactly how Isaac felt - first with Clint and his dyslexia, the couple times agents had been nasty to him about it, and then with Bucky and his myriad of issues. So far, Bucky hadn’t been near anyone who would be cruel to him about the things he struggled with, but Steve knew that there were plenty of people who would, given half a chance. 

“I’ll talk to my boys,” Steve said softly, seriously. “We would never want someone to feel badly about themselves for any reason.”

Isaac smiled a gentle, relieved smile. “Thanks, Steve. I appreciate it.”

Steve nodded and they exchanged a brief, slightly awkward, hug and said their goodbyes. 

Now to convince Bucky to come out of the body sock.

*

Steve didn’t tell the boys about the upcoming playdate until the Friday before, knowing that they would just obsess and worry about it. Steve waited until his boys were both fed and settled, all of them sitting on the couch preparing for a Friday movie.

“Before we watch WALL-E, there’s something I need to talk you about.” They were snuggled up on either side of them and Steve could feel the slight tension in their bodies. “Nothing bad or scary. Actually, it’s pretty exciting! You know that Isaac’s a daddy, right? That he and his girlfriend ageplay?”

“Yuhuh,” Clint mumbled around his thumb.

“Well, Isaac and I were talking and we thought it might be fun to have a playdate! What do you think about that idea?” 

Bucky was trembling lightly next to him and Steve ran a firm hand up and down his arm. 

“I dunno, Daddy. What - what if she doesn’t like us? What if she’s a lot bigger than us or doesn’t want ta’ play dinosaurs or astronauts?” Steve suppressed a smile at Clint’s concerns, knowing that big Clint would wildly different worries. 

“Sato is only a little bit bigger than you, lovebug. Isaac says she’s usually five or six.”

“Oh,” Clint said, face wrinkled thoughtfully, eyes downturned in concern. 

“And our friends don’t always have to like the same things as we do, right? Bucky likes to play with dolls, but Clint, you’d rather play with dinosaurs. Sato might have new games to teach us and we can teach her some of our favorites.”

“Even pirates?” Clint asked. Steve smiled down at him and pressed a fond kiss to his forehead. 

“Yup, baby, even pirates.”

“I guess that’s okay then.” Clint didn’t sound very sure about it, but he’d come a long way since they ‘came out’ to the team. He really enjoyed playing with them - especially Tony and Natasha, now that she’d come around to the whole thing. Bucky had always been a bit easier about being little around people - but people, especially strangers, were really challenging for him. Steve looked over at him, Bucky was chewing on his pacifier and clenching and unclenching his fist around his doll. 

“I know it’s kind of a scary idea,” Steve said to them, “But I think it could be really good to spend some time with people who are like us. And I promise, I wouldn’t let anyone scary come here. Isaac and I will both be here the entire time to make sure that everyone feels safe and good.”

“Yuhuh Daddy,” Bucky garbled around his pacifier. 

“That’s my brave boy. Sato is going to come visit us on Sunday, in the morning, before your nap. And I think we’re going to have a lot of fun. It’s alright to feel scared, but I want us all to try anyway. It’s always good to make a new friend.”

Both boys nodded, though they looked more nervous than anything else. 

“I also want to let you know that Sato has a condition called cerebral palsy, which means that she has a hard time controlling some of her muscles.”

“Like me?” Bucky asked, perking up, eyes going wide. 

Steve cuddled him in close, smiling. “A little bit, baby. Dyspraxia and cerebral palsy are caused by different things. Dyspraxia makes you a little clumsy and means that it might take you longer to do things. Sato’s cerebral palsy keeps her from doing certain things and makes it hard for her to walk. She walks with special crutches and wears braces on her legs to help her stand up nice and straight. When she comes to visit, it’s alright to ask questions, but she might not want to answer them. It’s even alright if you feel a little nervous or confused, at first. What is not okay is to be mean or rude, or to make Sato feel bad about herself. Do you understand?”

Both boys nodded, looking comically serious. 

“Do you have any questions you want to ask me?”

“She’s a little like me, right Daddy?” Bucky asked again. 

“A little bit,” Steve agreed, watching as Bucky settled in with the information that there were people - and specifically, a person he would meet - who shared some of his struggles. 

“Can’t play some games? Needs help from her daddy? Even when she’s big?” Bucky pressed. Steve couldn’t help chuckling as he nodded. Bucky sat back, a small, stunned smile on his face. 

Clint, on the other hand, was already starting to look distinctly jealous. He wasn’t used to having to share Bucky’s attention. Even in a room full of Avengers, Bucky’s focus would be on Clint and Steve. 

“I don’t want a new friend,” Clint said mulishly. Steve held back a sigh. 

“I know it might seem scary or overwhelming, lovebug, but I want you to give it a try and be open to making a new friend. When Bucky first came to live with us, you weren’t sure if you wanted to be friends with him, were you? But now you guys are  _ best  _ friends!”

“And brothers!” Clint said. “Sato’s not gonna be our sister, though, is she?”

“No, Sato’s already got her own daddy,” Steve said, stifling another chuckle. It still surprised him sometimes, how childlike his boys could get, how even their patterns of thought seemed to reflect their headspace. “She’s just going to be a new friend.”

“But not a best friend,” Clint insisted. “‘Cause Bucky and I are already best friends.”

“Sato is not going to replace either one of you,” Steve said soothingly. “She’s just going to be a fun new person. Someone to play with and someone who will understand what it’s like to be little.”

“Okay. I’ll try Daddy,” Clint mumbled. “But s’okay if I don’t like her?”

“It’s always okay not to like someone, as long as we’re still kind and respectful,” Steve allowed. From what Isaac had said, Steve rather doubted it would be a problem. He rather thought that Clint and Sato were going to get on like a house on fire. 

*

The boys seemed to forget the conversation after Steve started up WALL-E, and the rest of their evening passed peacefully. Saturday was equally unremarkable. They spent the morning playing trains and UFOs (a new favorite of Clint’s). After lunch and a nap, they made cookies, a therapeutic activity Isaac had recommended for Bucky, as it required planning and a multitude of sensory activities. Steve figured that they could save some of the treats to share with their guests on Sunday. 

It wasn’t until bedtime that night that the subject came up again. Steve had zipped them up into fuzzy pjs and was tucking them up under the covers when Clint hesitantly asked, “Is Sato still comin’ tomorrow?”

“Yup,” Steve said, perching on Bucky’s side of the bed. “How are you feeling about that?”

“Nervous,” Clint whispered as he slipped his thumb into his mouth. 

“Is there anything I can do to make you less nervous?”

Clint looked thoughtful. Bucky was chewing on his lip, so Steve pulled out a pacifier for him and held it up to his mouth. 

“Wear my dinosaur shirt,” Clint said firmly. A little more quietly, he added, “And pull ups, right Daddy?” 

“I think so, lovebug. What about you Bucky? What would make you feel better?”

“Can I - can I…” Bucky’s face was red, his words more hesitant and garbled than Steve had heard for a while. “Diaper?” He finally asked. Steve’s eyebrows rose without his permission, surprised by the request. Every once in a while, Bucky would ask to wear a diaper while they watched movies or went to the OT room, so he didn’t have to think or worry about it for a while. Steve didn’t mind. He really wouldn’t mind if Bucky wanted to wear diapers full time. Sometimes, he’d even thought about suggesting that to Bucky. But the truth was, most days it wasn’t a big deal because Bucky was never far from a bathroom. Even when he didn’t get much warning, he usually made it if he was big. It was a different situation at night and when he was feeling little, but it also caused him a lot less angst during those times. 

“Cause - s’alot, just, dun’ wanna worry,” Bucky was mumbling. Steve scooped him up, seeing him starting to get real anxious about his request. 

“That’s fine, roo. You can choose to wear a diaper anytime. Tomorrow it will just be daddy’s job to make sure you’re dry and clean and you can just worry about playing and making a new friend.” Bucky relaxed in his arms a little. Steve gently pet his hair, waiting for the rest of the tension to go. 

“Does that mean you’re gonna be littler?” Clint asked, all honest curiosity.

“No! M’a big boy!” Bucky said defensively, body going tight and nervous all over again. Steve held in a sigh. Bucky’s cheeks had gone red and he kept peeking up at Steve shyly. This was a topic Steve had been meaning to address. He knew that Bucky took most of his cues from Clint, especially when it came to ageplay and he had wondered if maybe Bucky’s headspace was too influenced by Clint’s. 

“You’re however big you feel. Wanting to wear a diaper doesn’t change that,” Steve said soothingly. “But Bucky, it’s also okay if you feel littler sometimes. Clint mostly feels around four, right baby?”

“Yuhuh,” Clint nodded, cuddling in close. 

“But sometimes he feels littler, maybe as little as two or three.”

“Two-and-a-half,” Clint corrected sleepily. Steve smiled. 

“How old do you usually feel, Bucky?” Bucky frowned, sucked a little harder on his pacifier. He took several minutes to think about it, wiggling his fingers and toes as he did so. Steve could feel Bucky’s toes squirming against his calf and felt a surprisingly strong surge of affection for his boys. 

“Three?” Bucky said tentatively. 

“That seems right,” Steve said softly, though Bucky’s headspace tended to be a bit more flexible than Clint’s. “But Bucky, if you ever wanted to be littler than that, it would be okay. You could be two or one or even littler and I would still love being your daddy. You’re my baby no matter how big you are, d’you understand?”

Bucky shrugged, hiding his face in Steve’s side. Steve rubbed his back soothingly. He knew it was a lot to think about. “Lots of people feel that little, you know? They feel like babies when they’re little. And that’s okay. As long as they’re being safe and talking to their daddies or mommies when they’re big.” 

Bucky nodded into Steve’s ribs. “So if you ever wanted to be littler, that would be okay. You just let me know. You too, Clint.” 

Clint nodded seriously. Clint already knew this, of course, as they’d spent time figuring out his headspace and interests and needs when they’d first started playing. Steve doubted that Clint would want to change anything about how they played, but it was always good to remind him that he always had that choice. 

“It’s also okay if you ever wanted to be bigger,” Steve added. “I’d miss my little boys, but I want you to be exactly as big or little as you feel.”

“Okay Daddy,” Clint said. He was starting to get restless, wiggling in place, and looking over at the stack of books they’d picked out for tonight. Steve chuckled. 

“Let’s read our books and get you boys to sleep, hmm? Busy day tomorrow.”

Both boys drifted off before he finished the first book. Steve carefully extracted himself, wanting to tidy up and get some snacks ready for tomorrow while his boys were asleep and not actively causing more mess. Plus, he wanted to set up a couple of fall back activities in case there was any awkwardness and make sure that Bucky had a quiet space to go if he got overwhelmed. The spare room had become a sort of mini-sensory room for Bucky, though it also still served as Steve’s office. Steve had vague plans to give Bucky a proper sensory room in their apartment, but he also did need an office, so it would probably be a bigger project than he could really take on at the moment. 

The chores were soothing, helped him get in the right frame of mind for tomorrow. He liked Isaac, but this would be different - a whole new kind of intimacy and that wasn’t always easy for Steve. It took him a while to trust people, especially with his boys. He also wasn’t above admitting that he was worried that Isaac would judge him and find him wanting. Isaac was the only caregiver he’d met or interacted with from the ageplay community. What if, when Isaac came to their apartment, saw Steve in a more informal setting, he’d tell Steve that he was doing it all wrong - that he was compounding the trauma. 

Steve shook his head and tried to put the worry aside. His boys had made huge progress, in their own ways. They were recovering, he knew they were, and he knew that being little was a huge part of that. He wasn’t going to let anyone tell him otherwise. Sam had been hesitant at first, but he’d come around. Everyone in the tower seemed to understand how important it was. Even Natasha had finally come around. They were still building relationships and trust, but it was all going in the right direction. Outsiders, no matter how experienced or knowledgeable, couldn’t change that. 

Feeling a little more settled, a little more confident, Steve carefully climbed back into bed. Bucky had migrated to the middle of the bed, snuggled up tight to Clint, so Steve took Bucky’s regular side. He matched his breath to theirs and quickly drifted off. 

*

The morning was a whirlwind of activity as they prepared for their guests. Despite all of his initial protests, Clint was clearly overwhelmed with excitement, running around pulling out all of his favorite toys and games to show Sato when she arrived. Bucky, as Steve expected, was an anxious mess, staying as close to Steve as he could possibly manage.

Steve let the boys eat breakfast in their pjs, knowing that they’d need to change after waffles anyway. Waffle Sunday was a sticky, messy tradition. 

“How ‘bout a bath?” Steve offered as he lifted Bucky into his arms. 

“Yeah, Daddy! Bath!” Clint crowed as he bounced to his feet, already running to the bedroom. By the time Steve and Bucky had caught up with Clint, he had started the water and was dumping bubble bath in at an alarming rate. Steve quickly swept the bottle away, distracting Clint by asking him to pick some bath toys out. 

The bath had the opposite of it’s intended (and usual) effect. In Clint’s nervous excitement he accidentally splashed water into Bucky’s face, making him panic. The bath ended with Bucky shivering naked in Steve’s lap, crying, and Clint sobbing out hysterical apologies from the tub. It took a half hour to get them both settled again. 

Steve kept them wrapped up in their towels and cuddled them close on the bed. Steve covered Clint’s ears while Bucky whispered memories of the past to Steve. “‘Fore they hurt, they washed,” Bucky mumbled around his paci. “Too cold or too hot, with a hose, hard, all over - in my eyes and mouth and nose. Again, after they hurted me. Made it hurt more and more and -” Bucky shuddered. Steve had to let go of Clint’s ears to pull Bucky close and rock him gently back and forth. Steve thought briefly of calling Isaac and cancelling, with both boys feeling so fragile, but the truth was they were deep in the trenches of Bucky’s recovery. He was sharing more and more everyday, trauma coming up in new and horrifying ways. Annie thought they were seeing it more because Bucky’s physical disabilities were finally being cared for, and those had been the most pressing issue. Steve couldn’t put their lives on hold until Bucky was “better.”

Instead, he set Clint to laying out some games and activities while Steve did a quick body break with Bucky. When JARVIS announced their guests’ arrival, both boys were visibly more settled. Bucky was still refusing to leave Steve’s arms, but that wasn’t exactly unusual. So Steve kept Bucky perched on his hip while Clint hid shyly in his side as he opened the door. 

“Hi!” A bright voice greeted them. A tiny Asian woman (she couldn’t be more than 5’) was smiling up at them. She was wearing a tutu that swamped her frame, and there seemed to be glitter on all of her clothes - including the braces she was wearing over brightly colored tights. She leaned on a pair of bright yellow fore-arm crutches. Isaac’s familiar shape hovered behind her, a fond smile on his freckled face. 

“I’m Sato! I’m five!” Sato said, beaming. 

“Hi Sato,” Steve greeted. Her cheer was quickly rubbing off and there was smile on his lips that wasn’t forced, despite the mornings difficulties. “I’m Steve - this is Clint and Bucky. They’re feeling a little shy.”

“Am not!” Clint said, pushing forward. “M’Clint and m’four and d’you wanna play dinosaurs?”

“Yeah! Do you have any pink ones?” 

Steve quickly stepped aside as the two littles turned toward the living room. Sato wobbled on her crutches and Isaac steadied her. Bucky held on to Steve a little tighter. 

“Hi Bucky,” Isaac murmured, voice gentle. “Having a hard day?” 

They followed Sato and Clint, both babbling over each other at a hundred miles an hour. 

Bucky shrugged, slipped his hand out and signed  _ nervous  _ and then  _ clumsy _ . 

“There’s no reason to be nervous, kiddo,” Isaac said. “I promise. Sato’s very sweet. I know she’s a little noisy,” this comment was confirmed by Sato’s loud squeal upon discovering Clint’s glitter dinosaurs, “but she’s a friendly little girl. And she knows what it’s like to feel a little clumsy sometimes. She’d never make fun of you.” 

Bucky nodded slowly and Steve smiled gratefully at Isaac, who winked. Isaac went over to Sato and Clint and helped Sato to sit by the coffee table. Steve watched curiously as Sato let Isaac take her weight and help arrange her legs once she was sitting. Isaac took a seat slightly behind and to the left of her. Steve thought that was probably to be there to catch her if she started to fall - Steve had arranged himself similarly with Bucky on particularly bad body days. 

“You wanna go play, roo?” Steve asked. 

“Nuhuh.” Bucky whispered. “Watch?” 

“Sure thing, baby.” Steve settled beside Clint with Bucky curled in his lap. Clint was carefully describing how to make a rocket ship out of legos. 

“What if we made a castle?” Sato suggested excitedly. “There can be a Princess dinosaur.”

Clint hesitated. “Can there be a ‘splorer dinosaur too?”

“Yeah! They can go on adventures!” Sato grinned at Clint. 

“Okay!” Clint said, pushing to his feet. “I’ll get the legos.”

“Do you want to play Bucky?” Sato asked, leaning toward them, eyes wide. Bucky shrank into Steve, hiding his face. 

“He’s still feeling a little shy,” Steve explained. “It’s hard for him to meet new people.”

“That’s okay. New people are sometimes mean,” she said it matter of factly, which made Steve hurt. Sato was so cheerful, so enthusiastic. He couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to be mean to such a sweet kid. “But I’m not mean. And Daddy’s not mean, so you should come play.”

“Don’t push, sweetheart,” Isaac rebuked gently. 

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Sato said, rolling her eyes. Steve watched on, fascinated by their dynamic. “He doesn’t have to come play if he doesn’t wanna.” Isaac smiled indulgently, pushed a stray piece of hair behind Sato’s ear. The affection between them was clear, in spite of Sato’s eye rolling.

“How long have you guys been age playing?” Steve asked as Clint stumbled over with the legos, dumping them excitedly on the floor. Steve winced, making a mental note to do an extra thorough clean up during nap. There was nothing worse than stepping on legos. 

“Three years!” Sato said, reaching for a handful of legos. “Daddy and I met at a munch and he was really nice so I asked him to take me to dinner.”

“A munch?” Steve asked. 

“It’s an event where people who are into ageplay can meet up,” Isaac explained, “and meet like-minded people. It’s not intended to matchmake. Sato and I just got lucky,” the same indulgent expression crossed over Isaac’s face. Each time Steve saw it, it made him like Isaac just a little bit more. 

“So you both knew, before you started dating?” Steve pressed, curious about how others found themselves in the situation he’d accidentally stumbled onto. 

“Yeah! Daddy was my daddy before he was my boyfriend,” Sato said confidently. “Clint we should make all the towers different colors! And turrets! They need turrets.”

Clint bit his lip, looked over at Steve with a question in his eye. 

“A turret’s a small tower on top of a bigger tower,” Steve explained. Clint had a pretty limited vocabulary, even when he was big, probably because of the dyslexia - not to mention the lack of schooling. He was pretty shy about it, these days. It was worse because he lived with such intelligent people, Steve thought, and he’d never willingly admit to not knowing a word when he was big (unless it was Tony and Bruce in a science rant, because no one understood that), but Steve had learned to read his cues. 

Clint’s eyes lit up, “Yeah! Like a real castle from once upon a time stories! There should be secret tunnels too!”

Steve looked back over at Isaac, caught his cocked eyebrow just before it disappeared. That was an expression Steve knew - it was Isaac’s professional  _ something is not quite right _ expression. Steve felt himself growing a little defensive, though he tried to squash the feeling down. 

He’d lost the train of the conversation, but Isaac brought him back to it. “You know, I don’t think you ever said, how was it that you all started playing?” 

Steve glanced over at Clint, who’d ducked his head to hide pinking cheeks. 

“Happy accident, really.” Steve said simply, though there was enough of an edge to his voice that Isaac didn’t push. 

“That’s good. I mean - that it worked for all of you. A lot of our friends have lost relationships because of the age play and that just hurts everyone involved, you know?”

Steve nodded, because he could imagine. What if Bucky hadn’t been okay with what he and Clint did? What would have happened to them? Steve didn’t like to imagine it. He didn’t even want to think about what it would have been like if Bucky had been accepting but not little himself. Steve loved his family, exactly as it was, couldn’t imagine his life without any of its multiple moving parts. 

Clint handed Bucky a dinosaur without comment, continuing his play with Sato. Steve smiled warmly at both his boys, Bucky settling the dinosaur in his lap. He looked up at Steve and cautiously signed  _ pacifier _ and then  _ please _ . Steve nodded, pulling one out of his shirt pocket and holding it up to Bucky. Bucky glanced shyly over at Sato and Isaac - neither of whom were paying him or his paci any attention. Bucky opened his mouth for it and gently started to suck. 

Clint and Sato’s play continued to be noisy and rambunctious, with Clint running around gathering toys and fetching things for Sato. Bucky relaxed slowly over the next hour as Isaac played with Sato and Clint and Steve and Bucky watched from the sidelines. Sato chatted on and on, but happily stopped to listen to Clint whenever Steve’s little boy spoke up. Clint was clearly relishing playing with someone who could keep up with him in exuberance and energy, moving quickly through many of his favorite games, often combining them into more and more complex story lines. Sato not only followed along, she cheerfully added details and new parts. 

They were on outer space princess dinosaurs, only one of them was fluffy? And magical? Steve wasn’t exactly sure. Bucky was more relaxed, but hadn’t tried to join any of the games, and Steve wasn’t exactly surprised. They were a little advanced for Bucky’s usual headspace - plus, Bucky tended to like simpler imaginative play that mirrored domestic activities. Even when he played with dinosaurs, he tended to play out family scenes. 

“Do you want them to change games?” Isaac asked Steve softly, glancing worriedly down at Bucky. Bucky blushed and hid his face in Steve’s chest, wiggling in his lap. Steve glanced over at Sato and Clint, playing and giggling. 

“Nah, it’s alright. Watching will help him feel more comfortable for next time” Steve said, rubbing Bucky’s back as he continued to squirm in his lap. Bucky probably had to pee - but he was wearing a diaper and, in all likelihood, wouldn’t ask to go to the bathroom. They never talked much about what went through Bucky’s mind when he wore diapers - if he peed in them on purpose or if their very presence just made it easier to not focus on his body. Steve hadn’t ever felt the need to ask before, but it was a little different now that there were other people around. He was worried that it would make Bucky too self-conscious to gain whatever comfort he usually got from wearing his diapers. Just as Steve was starting to really worry about it, he felt a familiar warmth spread across his lap. Bucky got a little stiff in his arms and Steve quickly ducked his head to give Bucky a kiss on his forehead. 

Steve glanced over at Clint, who was bouncing on his knees and wiggling in place. Steve doubted it was all from excitement. 

“Jitterbug,” Steve called, “let’s take a quick break.” Jitterbug was a cue, letting Clint know they were going to take a bathroom break. Steve forgot when he’d first called Clint that, but knew it was sometime when he was watching Clint wiggling around and insisting he didn’t need to potty. He’d said something along the lines of ‘you look like you’re doing the jitterbug, bud, and you only dance like that when you havta pee.’ 

“Nuh-uh!” Clint protested. “M’playing!”

Steve stood with Bucky, who was still hiding in his chest. 

“C’mon, buddy, it’ll only take a moment.” Steve scooped him up easily and tossed him over his shoulder. Clint squealed and giggled while Sato looked on with wide eyes. Steve offered a playful little wink. He was well aware that most ‘bigs’ couldn’t be quite so physical with their littles. Early in his research, way back, he’d read some blogs and discussion boards for people in the ageplay community - a common theme had been the longing for their caregivers to pick them up, make them feel really little. Steve was grateful that his strength allowed him to give that to his boys. “We’re just going to take a quick bathroom break,” Steve said, feeling as though he could be honest. The statement wouldn’t tell Sato anything she didn’t know, and Isaac had been so respectful of Bucky’s issues that even if he drew conclusions about Clint, Steve felt confident that it would be fine. 

“Can you help me in the bathroom when they’re done, Daddy?” Sato asked, scooching on her bum closer to Isaac. 

“There’s actually a small bathroom off the kitchen,” Steve informed softly. “You can use that one, if you’d like. The only other is the on suite.”

“We’ll need the maneuvering room, actually, if you don’t mind us using that one,” Isaac returned. And it was kind of nice, in the strange new way of Steve’s life, that they were talking about bathroom mechanics so matter of factly, that helping their littles wasn’t something to defend or explain like Steve sometimes felt when he was around his team. 

“Of course not - we won’t be more than ten minutes,” that part he said cautiously. His boys sometimes couldn’t wait ten minutes. He didn’t know if Sato’s cerebral palsy meant she had any issues with continence or urgency. 

“That’s fine,” Sato said easily, still busy with the legos. 

Steve nodded and, feeling Clint’s squirming pick up, hustled his boys into the bathroom, closing the bedroom and bathroom doors for plenty of privacy. He carefully set Bucky down and then hurried to help Clint out of his pants and pull ups, got him situated on the toilet. While Clint took care of business, Steve lay Bucky out on the bathmat and gathered supplies for a change. 

“How’re you doin’, baby?” Steve asked softly as he undid the clasps on Bucky’s overalls. Neither of his boys wore the brown, corduroy overalls that often, as they proved difficult to get off in a bathroom ‘emergency.’ But they were too cute for Steve to completely resist, so he pulled them out sometimes when Bucky asked to wear a diaper. He just looked so young in them, young and innocent and child like. The overalls made changes a little more difficult, and Steve sometimes wished for a pair with snaps in the crotch but thought neither boy would take kindly to that. Bucky hardly tolerated the modifications on his jeans, even though they’d saved him from an accident more than once. 

“M’okay Daddy,” Bucky answered. 

“Why aren’t you playin’?” Clint asked as he wiggled his pants back into place. 

Bucky shrugged, ducked his chin into his chest. Steve fetched a clean diaper from under the sink along with a packet of wipes and set about cleaning Bucky up. 

“Sato’s fun,” Clint insisted. “Would be more fun if you played.”

Bucky just shrugged again, starting to look distinctly uncomfortable. Steve stepped in, “I think the game you’re playing is a bit big for your little brother, lovebug.”

“Oh!” Clint exhaled, eyebrows furrowing thoughtfully. “Whaddya wanna play?”

Clint flushed and washed his hands while Bucky wiggled in place and thought. Steve got the diaper in place around his boy’s hips and started pulling the overalls up. 

“Color?” Bucky proposed shyly. 

“Yeah!” Clint agreed easily, bouncing closer as Steve lifted Bucky into his arms. Steve kept Bucky perched on his hip as he washed his hands. “Can we use the glitter glue, Daddy, please?”

Steve laughed and bopped Clint on the nose, “I think we can do that, bud. We’ve gotta make sure Sato wants to color too, though.”

“I’ll ask!” Clint hollered, running out the door towards the living room. Steve rolled his eyes fondly and followed at a more sedate pace. By the time they reached the living room, Sato and Clint were cheerfully discussing what they would draw (and what would be in glitter) while Isaac helped Sato to her feet. Sato’s knees pulled together and knocked for a moment before she got her feet under her and seemed to straighten out some. 

“We won’t be long,” Isaac said as he and Sato headed for the bathroom. Steve had tidied the bedroom that morning, put away the things that his boys would want kept private, so he wasn’t concerned about them walking through there. 

“Clint, why don’t you get the markers out, okay?” Clint rushed to do as he was asked. Steve settled Bucky down on the couch and went to fetch paper and the glitter glue. When Clint came back, carrying a big plastic box of markers, Steve suggested, “Why don’t we go sit in the kitchen to color.”

“Okay Daddy!” Clint agreed happily, skipping towards the kitchen. Steve grinned. He returned to the couch and gently helped Bucky to his feet. 

“How’s your body doing, roo?” Steve asked as they went to join Clint. 

“Little floppy,” Bucky mumbled. “Not bad, though.” Steve nodded. He settled Bucky down in his regular chair - the only one with arms, and helpfully decorated with stickers by Clint. 

“Would your wiggle seat or a weighted pillow help?” Steve offered. He let Bucky think about it while getting Clint a piece of paper. Clint stayed perched on his knees on his chair, leaning over the table, coloring gleefully. 

“Weight pillow?” Bucky requested around his pacifier. 

Steve smiled and nodded, “I’ll go get that, baby.” He left Bucky and Clint in the kitchen, making his way to the spare room to grab Bucky’s weighted lap pad. Tony and Steve had to do some serious problem solving to figure out how to make all of Bucky’s weighted objects and then how heavy to make them to be therapeutic for Bucky. It had taken some trial and error before they found the right weight for each of the tools - they were  _ a lot  _ heavier than the ones on the market. Steve exited the spare room just as Sato and Isaac were exiting the bedroom, speaking softly to each other. 

“Can we have ice cream on our way home, Daddy?” Sato was asking. 

“Of course we can.”

“And go to the toy store?” Sato wheedled. Steve couldn’t suppress a laugh and Isaac and Sato turned to look at him. Isaac pinked a little, but Sato didn’t seem distressed at the interruption, she just turned back, adding, “I want a new polly pocket!”

“We can probably do that, sweetie.” Sato looked quite pleased with herself and hurried, as much as she could, towards the kitchen. Isaac lowered his voice and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “She’s got me wrapped around her little finger.”

“I know the feeling,” Steve sympathized. 

In the kitchen, Sato was settling herself down next to Clint. “Daddy’s going to take me to the toy store this afternoon,” she shared excitedly. Isaac went a little pinker. “And then we’re going to get ice cream! I’m going to have three scoops!”

Clint’s mouth fell open and he turned to look at Steve, “Daddy I want ice cream! I want three scoops too!” 

Suddenly, the whole thing wasn’t quite as funny. Steve had never found himself in quite this situation before. It was just - Clint wasn’t allowed that much ice cream when he was little. Clint knew it, too. Steve controlling Clint’s food was a well established part of their dynamic but it had taken months to build that trust and it was all rooted in complicated, difficult things - and it wasn’t as simple as just saying  _ no _ . Denying Clint food was never that simple. 

“I’m sorry lovebug, you know you’re only allowed two. And it’s Bucky’s turn to pick dessert today.” 

Clint pouted, lip wobbling dramatically. “You’re mean!”

Steve winced and tried not to show it. It wasn’t often that Clint dropped any of the usual  _ you’re means  _ or  _ I hate yous _ , but it usually happened when Clint was really worried or anxious, trying to push boundaries to prove to himself that Steve wasn’t going to leave. They were easier to hear in those situations and this - 

“Isaac’s a nicer daddy than you!”

This felt like being compared and found wanting and it hurt. It hurt like it had always hurt, since he was a little boy, the weakest on the playground, teased and bullied and - Steve did his best to cut off the train of feelings that was roaring through him. Clint had said exactly the right thing to make Steve hurt, but Steve needed to stay calm, he needed to handle this. Steve took a deep breath and settled Bucky’s weighted lap pad down onto his legs. Everyone had gone very, very quiet. Bucky’s eyes were watering up and he was sucking anxiously on his pacifier. 

“That’s not a very nice thing to say,” Steve said softly, turning to look at Clint. He gave him the calmest, most understanding look he could manage. “I’m sorry that you’re disappointed, bud, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to say mean things.” 

Clint’s lip wobbled dangerously. He looked around at the room - at Sato, sitting still and quiet in her chair, eyes and face serious, Isaac’s hands on her shoulders, and at Bucky, giving himself a little hug, before his gaze returned to Steve. 

Tears welled up. “I - I’m sorry - I didn’t  _ mean  _ it, I just - I wanted, Daddy m’sorry!” Clint wailed and reached for Steve. Steve scooped him up immediately, cuddled him close. 

“Shh, baby, it’s okay,” Steve hushed, rocking back and forth. “Daddy knows you didn’t mean it. You just have to be careful with your words, lovebug.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Clint sobbed into Steve’s chest, tucking his thumb between his lips. 

“It’s alright, you’re forgiven. I love you, there, it’s alright.” Clint’s upset was fading quickly, though he clung tightly and hid his teary face. Steve quickly checked on the other kids. Sato was still and quiet, but she was relaxing slightly under Isaac’s gentle hands. Bucky was still as statue in his seat, eyes wide and overflowing with tears. He couldn’t stand it when Clint got upset. “Now, I think everybody could use something to drink. Sato, what would you like to drink?” Steve kept Clint close as he pulled out two sippy cups from the cupboard and one plastic, pink cup with a silly straw. 

“Apple juice, please,” Sato asked, the quietest Steve had heard her. He filled her glass first and handed it to her with a gentle smile. She took it with wide eyes. Steve filled the sippy cups with milk for his boys and settled back in Clint’s chair, Clint in his lap. 

“Now, I heard a lot of very exciting plans for drawings, and as it happens my office is in need of some new artwork. Will you help me out Sato?” 

Sato perked up, nodding quickly. “I’m going to draw Clint and me playing dinosaurs!” Isaac smiled indulgently, taking the seat between Sato and Bucky. 

“What about you, roo? You going to draw me something new?” 

Bucky blushes as he whispered, “a kitty.”

“Sounds awesome, bud. And you, Clinty? You going to draw me another dinosaur?”

“In outerspace,” Clint agreed hesitantly, pulling his thumb out of his mouth and wiping it on his shirt. 

“And what about me?” Isaac asked playfully. “Am I going to get any drawings?” 

“After Steve!” Sato chirped. “I’ve never drawn a picture for Steve before.”

“First picture’s pretty special, huh?” Isaac asked, petting her hair. 

“Yeah! My first picture for you was a unicorn!” Isaac smiled fondly as he laughed. 

The kids drew quietly for a few minutes. Steve watched Isaac watch Bucky. They hadn’t been able to convince Bucky to draw or write for Isaac before, despite their best efforts. Steve knew that Isaac was concerned about Bucky’s fine motor skills, so it was good that he was able to see now what Bucky was able to do. 

“That’s a pretty kitty!” Sato told Bucky. Bucky looked up and turned bright red. He looked over at Steve wide eyed. 

“Say thank you,” Steve reminded gently. 

“Thanks,” Bucky whispered. 

“You’re welcome!” Sato chirped. “You’re a good drawer.” Bucky was visibly overwhelmed by the praise. He was extremely sensitive about his fine motor skills, especially his handwriting and drawing. 

“‘V’got d’praxia,” Bucky whispered. Steve’s eyes went wide with surprise. He hadn’t expected Bucky to share that, not at all. He knew the diagnosis meant a lot to Bucky, but it was still a sensitive issue, still something they were feeling out. “S’hard.”

Sato just nodded, kept coloring, the tip of her tongue sticking out as she concentrated. “It was hard for me, too, when I learned to write and draw. My hands are usually okay, but sometimes they get a little funny.”

Bucky was looking at her wide eyed. “Me too - gets floppy.”

Steve hid his sudden tears of joy in Clint’s hair. This was just what Bucky needed - seeing someone who was  _ like him _ . It was just so important. 

“Mine get the opposite of floppy,” Sato explains. “They get all stiff and achy and won’t do what I want.” 

Clint was growing tense in Steve’s arm and Steve could practically smell the jealousy coming off of him. Clint was not used to sharing Bucky, not in any shape. Steve wondered if he could get Clint to open up about his dyslexia, wondered if sharing would have the same therapeutic effect for him. It wasn’t worth pushing, just then, Steve decided, just as Clint demanded, “Lookit my dinosaur Bucky!”

Bucky dutifully looked over Clint’s dinosaur, “It’s good, Clinty. Needs helmet?”

“Yuhuh!” Clint agreed cheerfully, pulling the drawing back. 

“Can I see?” Sato asked. Clint hesitated just a second too long - her face fell and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. 

“Yeah!” Clint said awkwardly, pushing the drawing forward for her to see. 

“Sato,” Steve said softly. She looked up at him. “Clint and Bucky have never met someone else who age plays before. They’re still learning - Clint didn’t mean to make you feel bad. He’s just not used to sharing Bucky with any other friends.”

Sato’s expression eased. Clint’s cheeks pinked, but not too badly. 

“That’s okay!” Sato added happily. “I wanna be Clint’s friend and Bucky’s friend!” 

Buck blushed and ducked his chin, but there was pleased grin hiding behind his pacifier. 

“I wanna be your friend too,” Clint said shyly. Sato beamed. 

“New friends are a good thing,” Steve agreed. 

_ fin.  _

 

**Author's Note:**

> Read more about Sato [here](https://imdefinitelyyourcat.tumblr.com/post/155175182219/so-who-the-hell-is-sato). I know so much about her and love her so much and would adore if you did too! See a picture I drew of Sato [here](https://imdefinitelyyourcat.tumblr.com/post/155175382959/this-is-sato).


End file.
